Countdown to RE!!!

Two weeks from today we embark on a different ttc journey!!  I really have a lot of mixed emotions about this.  One minute I am elated, then scared to death.  But I guess that's just part of it.  After we had ttc for one year I was not ready to give up and admit that there was a problem.  I felt like we just needed more time and that we would be able to do this on our own. 

After one year of ttc I was forced to take a couple months off because I needed to have surgery to help my hoarse voice become stronger.  After the surgery we jumped right back on the ttc band wagon and were successful the first try!  We were so excited and realistic at the same time.  Each day we talked about our little bean and dreamed about the future as new parents.  Unfortunately my bean was not a sticky bean and at only 6 weeks pregnant I had a mc.  It broke my heart and left me devastated. 

My pregnancy did help me though, even though emotionally it was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with.  I was not a fan of my previous OB/GYN so getting my first BFP led me to a new OB/GYN, one that came highly recommended by my BFF!!  He was willing to admit that we probably had a problem somewhere, where as my old OB wanted to teach me about how the birds and bees work.... REALLY!!  I really like my new doc and hope that soon enough I will go back to him with another BFP, this time one that sticks.

I think the thing that is so scary about the RE is the fact that just maybe he will make our dreams come true.  I have these feelings of elation at the thought and then fear that I wont be good enough for my baby.

I know that I have a good OB now because he thought it was a really good idea that I made an appointment with an RE.  Many doctors wouldn't be so happy about that because they think they know everything.  I am glad my OB is happy! 

So this is the start of my TWW and my TWW to RE!  How ironic is that!!  My next CD1 is supposed to be the day of my RE appointment, doesn't really leave me any time to cancel if this is our month.  However I have honestly lost all confidence in us doing this on our own anyway so I do not really suspect to have to cancel.

Really hoping that there are only good things in our ttc future!